Fast and Furious - 1st Gear (Bangalore Edition)

Bangalore - The second most affluent city in India, a city that millions call home and a subset of those millions also call it an obstacle course.
The Government of India has stipulated that a Drivers License obtained anywhere in India has national validity. I beg to differ. A DL just says that you "may" legally be allowed to drive. The roads in Bangalore begs the question.... CAN you drive..PUNK? (Read this out aloud imagining yourself to be possessed by Nana Patekar to get the drift)
In order survive the daily ordeal, here are a few tips that can help you keep a check on your sanity.

The Mental Preparation:
As any good Bangalorean will tell you, the brain is the most important organ in the human body...on weekdays. On weekends, the kidneys/liver and lungs call the shots. However, I digress, a day of office commute should begin with a deep breath and empty bowels. Watching inspirational and motivational videos is a good start but if you are pressed for time then try convincing yourself that you love driving.Over a period of time you may be able to actually convince yourself that you like driving, this is a variation of self hypnotic therapy and is useful in some cases.

The Physical Preparation:
Eat a healthy breakfast, go light on fluids (unless you are carrying adult diapers). Light stretching focusing on the calf muscles, triceps and wrists is essential. As always, try doing the exercises in sets and with a predefined rhythm. I have personally found that repeating the phrase "Clutch, Gear, Brake" repeatedly while working out is a healthy outlet and helps in both
               a) Mental Preparation
               b) Physical Preparation
and is a mantra that you can repeat as often as you like during the drive

The Car: 
Whether you have  Reva or a BMW, you need to forget that your car has anything beyond 1st and 2nd gear. I have heard rumors of  roads where the courageous have shifted to 3rd but there are no confirmed reports. Always ensure that you are not low on fuel and stock you car with supplies like you would if you knew that a zombie attack was imminent. Know how to work the controls, with one hand/foot, simultaneously..and yes, I mean the brakes too. Your other appendages can then productively be engaged in fiddling with your smart phone. Get a seat with Lumbar Support. I have heard that the Cab drivers here have a seat that has a protruding spike placed below the posterior which juts out at random times. It is supposed to improve your driving skill but has the undesirable side effect of causing rapid accelerations, sudden brakes and wild turns.

The Road:
Ha ha..got you!! What road?

The Potholes:
At first glance you may mistakenly assume that you drove out of your apartment and landed on the surface of the moon and start postulating on whether it was a wormhole or a manhole that got you there but not so fast. These potholes are a major tourist attraction and there are actually major roads that have been named after the potholes. 80ft road and 100ft road are such roads where the depth of the pot holes are 80ft and 100ft respectively. Some "outsiders" think that the names allude to the width of the roads...such ignorance!! These potholes have numerous advantages
1) The water accumulated in these potholes percolates and replenishes the ground water level
2) They act as well designed speed breakers.They are guaranteed to break more than your speed and are regarded as engineering marvels.
3) They keep drivers constantly on alert and many have actually reported that so keen is their focus on the potholes that they do not look at road signs or landmarks.The potholes are like playing a game of connect the dots. It takes out the monotony of driving.

Above all,  be positive, your car has a Power steering and Disc Brakes for a reason, use them. To be a successful car driver in Namma Bengaluru you need to lose the fear, lose the fear of death,disability and car repairs and you shall prevail.
So repeat after me  Clutch, Gear , Brake.. Clutch , Gear, Brake............Accel..BRAKE!!!!

Home Grown Chillis

Modern life with all its conveniences and nuances does rob us of some of the finer aspects of life. As life has gotten more and more complicated we sometimes fail to appreciate how even some of the basic necessities of life are magically available to us. For instance - food.
Most city kids probably wouldn't even know if a pineapple grows on trees or underground and thats probably not a good thing. Cities with their stone walls limit the scope for green fields but I think that gardening is a hobby that everyone should take a shot at. I use the term hobby loosely, you can grow a shrub if you want to but I think you should try it. It will take you back to your roots(Pun intended).
My mom being an avid proponent of the powers of some herbs maintains an active garden at home and my wife being a foodie with a taste for chillies that are as hot as lava has planted a few chilli plants brought from Assam. These are a variety of  chilli called Bhoot Jholokia and were the hottest chillies in the World till last year I think. (Now they are no 2- Respect)
I like spicy stuff myself and so I initially took up the routine work of  watering the plants and found that to be a very relaxing thing to do at the end of a hectic day. One thing led to another and I had to do a lot of reading on how to get those chilli plants to survive as they are not native to this part of India and these plants are very prone to some pests. Here are my top 3 tips for a healthy chilli plant based on experience. I hope someone finds it useful.

1)  Quality of the Soil - Ensure that the soil you use is of good quality, mix it with some organic fertilizer if needed. Also, mix the solid with some sand/gravel. The idea is that the pot where you plant the seeds should not get water logged. Sand and rocks allow the water to percolate through the soil and prevents it from just running off the top.

2) Water - Water the plants preferably twice a day but if that not possibly then once a day is good enough.When the plants are flowering and the chillies are growing, water every alternate day. This forces the plant to retain water and the chilli turns out bigger and spicier. Try to sprinkle the water on the leaves as there are a lot of pests that lay eggs under the leaves and regular cleaning will save you a lot of grief later.

3) Pests - I  had some pesky little bugs pestering my garden.The underside of the chilli leaves seemed to have white spots comprising of hundreds of tiny eggs. A little googling and common sense led me to believe that I had a white fly infestation and a couple of websites seemed to suggest that the extract of the Neem tree (Azadirachta indica) was the solution. So I ended up buying a Neem oil extract based pesticide and that worked wonders. I would suggest to get a bottle of such a pesticide and keep it handy.

Happy gardening!!!