Saturday, June 13, 2009

Weird Connections - No Actually!!

I really couldn't think of a better subject line.. it may imply a lot of things but this article is going to be about some of my weird ideas and how I tried implementing them.

1) Fire Automated - One day while watching a program on TV about how Edison invented the light bulb a similar bulb lit up in my head (The actual wattage was and still is highly questionable but I was in the 9th standard so sue me..). I suddenly had this desire of having a way to light a candle in case the light went out. I specifically wanted to light a candle not a bulb as somehow that seemed more .. ahem.. romantic. Oh OK., what the heck.. I just wanted to light a candle cause I wanted to do it. The circuit I built was a simple one, broke a light bulb and took out the tungsten filament, hooked it via a switch to a group of batteries and wrapped the filament around a couple of match heads and placed the match heads close to a candle's wick. Hit the switch and lo and behold the filament glowed red and the match heads ignited.. ha ha.. Fire! Fire!. Its aliiivve. Well not that dramatic but it was quite "cool". Showed it to a couple of friends who couldn't have cared less and hence I took that apart after a few days.

2) Mithunism - Inspired by a scene from the Lords movie ( Don't remember which one it was.. have I sinned.. Oh NO!!) I tried lighting a match by striking the boots I was wearing. Turns out that its not easy. Did some reading and found out why they are called "safety" matches :-(
However, I just had to find a way around it and do something.. and I did. Took the striking part off from a match box, stuck it to a sheet of paper and wrapped that paper tightly around a matchstick. The result was a roll of paper layered with the striker with a match inside it.You just had to pull it out sharply and out it would come bursting in flames. I stuck that to the heel of my boots and headed out. Met a few friends, went for a smoke, pretended to not have a match box and did my thing .. he he.. were they surprised!!

3) The Arnold Alarm - While in engineering, in order to get up in the morning after the usual late night sessions I built a system of alarms. The first set was a set of two alarm clocks connected in parallel. I used to set them 5 minutes apart and once one started ringing it would trigger the others alarm as well. The second system was more innovative. It was a motion sensor.. he he.. OK.. not quite but it was a stripped down alarm clock that I connected to my door. Once somebody pushed on my door, it tripped the alarm and it kept ringing till it was manually rest. Dinesh, my next door neighbour and an early riser was the designated "trigger". He would get up every day morning and begin with a customary "Abbey sam ***** uth ja saale" followed by a swift kick on my door thus setting off the alarm. Oh the happy days!! :-)

4) Engineering Mini project - It was called the Automated Lab Support System.. an ingenious mirco controller based system which can only be conceived by 4 aspiring electronic engineers. The design basically involved about 10% engineering skill, 40% lack of common sense and 50% lack of foresight. This deadly mixture when marinated in vodka overnight led to the final design. I built that entire circuit in my room ( as I was too lazy to walk 500 yards to the lab) and by circuit I mean the entire mirco controller assembly. Soham did a phenomenal job of Mircoprocessor programming and we were able to give a demo of the system. When compared to our original plans, the system we finally built was like starting out with the blue print of the Taj Mahal and finally ending up with the open air toilet of Shashi ( Shashi from Trivandum junction).

Thus it seems that over the years, my ideas have just become crappier, complicated, unrealistic, unmanageable and totally lack lustre. Thankfully I am in IT so no one noticed :-)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Darwinian Complexity

I find the concept of evolution to be very fascinating and am completely enthralled by its finer aspects and I had assumed this was the common sentiment across humanity. Turns out that I was WRONG. Amazingly, there are still people who would choose to ignore all evidence and regard Darwinism as a "theory".. just a theory. I know that there are a million pseudo scientific texts and videos out there which try to show how Darwin was a nitwit and how utterly ridiculous it is that we, the great , omnipotent and omniscient humans could have anything to do with primates.. Good heavens!! The FACT that we have been able to map the human genome and prove that we indeed share genetic similarities with the great apes is just another trivial scientific trivia akin to we needing oxygen for survival and can be safely regarded as inconsequential and irrelevant.
Anyways, religious and moronic ideologies aside I do understand the reason why Darwin's theory so upsets many people and I shall try to draw some analogies between Darwinism and a ridiculous sorting algorithm. As usual, this analogy like myself.. will be perfect. ;-)

Now, the single most disturbing thing about Darwin's theory of evolution is that it points to a total lack of purpose to life. It is easy to see why this can be so disconcerting. If life is result of random mutations then it seems meaningless and without purpose and that's not what we would like to believe. The other major flaw that non believers point out is that some features that organisms posses is just too complicated to have evolved by chance. A common example that is pointed out is the one where if you find a rock on the ground then you will have no problems in believing that it is just a piece of rock brought about by random processes of compression and erosion. If however you now find a Swiss watch in the same place then would you assume that it was a naturally occurring phenomena? The point here being that the Swiss watch is so complicated that it points to a definite design and hence a designer.

As far as complexity goes, the non believers grossly underestimate the awesome power of randomness. Nature is infinitely more complicated than we can imagine and what looks like design is just a result of millions of years of selective breeding. The rules for selecting a specific mutation need not be complex at all but over time the complexity can build up and lead to fascinating results. The best example to see this is to see a demonstration of Mathematica and Dr. Wolframs cellular automaton . It goes on to show how a complex structure can be derived starting from a simple building block and by using a simple set of rules. The best part is that this process is not algorithmically compressible so there is no way to hasten the process. You get what you see and you see it only when you get it!! Also, its is not only nature that can induce complexity. For instance, Bulldogs were being selectively bred for their large head sizes and now we are at a point where they cannot be conceived naturally because of the excessive head sizes. Thus, Bulldogs now have become dependent on us for the survival of their species and this kind of dependency is a result of evolution and the biggest proof that the "designer" can be bypassed.

Coming to the question of purpose. That's a tough one from a philosophical standpoint but I can find some similarities between this question and a little known sorting algorithm called Bogosort. (Introduced to me by Adarsha or "Mircosoft Maga" as he is popularly known as)
Now Bogosort sounds ridiculous because it relies on a random reshuffling of a list hoping that the restructured list "just happens" to be the sorted one. If the list is finite then the number of iterations will remain bounded and thus there is a finite probability of getting to a sorted list. This is not practical however because there is no way of determining how long the sort will take. Moreover, with a pseudo random generator the sorted list may never result because the long term cyclic behaviour of such a generator prevents it from being truly random. Thus though this is a valid sorting algorithm, its randomness will make it seem purposeless UNTIL it actually results in the sorted list. Evolution is much the same, it is random and hence seems to be without a purpose but it is not so. It has an agenda and that agenda is the betterment of the species as a whole.

We can only hope that nature employs a true random event generator thus ensuring that there is a finite probability of reaching a conclusion i.e a ecosystem where everything is in harmony with everything else. If not then we are screwed as that would imply a long term cyclic behaviour. Going by history, Earth was ruled by reptiles and then somehow the mammals became dominant. So, if this is a cycle.. oh no.. sorry guys gotta go and apologize to the lizard who may have seen the underside of my chappals a bit too close for its liking..

Monday, June 8, 2009

Coordinatorous Americanus - An exotic species

This article is small glimpse into the little known but fascinating lifestyle of a reclusive creature called the "Coordinators" (Species: Coordinatorous Americanus).
The general consensus among experts is that this species is the result of a mutation in certain members of a more well known and diverse species called the Offshorous Informus Laborous. Though Offshorous(OS) and Coordinatorous(CO) by and large share the same characteristics there are some distinct features which make CO very unique and well suited to its habitat.
The mutation itself is a very interesting phenomena and is usually predicated by the acquisition of a rare chromosome called H1-B. Though other chromosomes such as H4 and B1 have also been linked to this mutation but the primary causative factor has been determined to be the H1-B. Earlier evolutionary processes dictated that this mutation was in general linked to the chronological maturity of Offshorous but of late it has been noted that this mutation has become more or less random. Now, lets move on to the life cycle of Coordinatorous:

Coordinatorous usually begins life as a very enthusiastic little critter, eager to please and inch its way up the evolutionary scale. This drive invariably results in territorial disputes between Offshorus and Coordinatorous as Offshorous is usually larger in number and views CO as an anomaly. The hostile and demanding habitat that CO has to deal with adds to the initial traumatic transition period. However, CO usually displays a remarkable resilience and tenacity and gets adjusted to the changing conditions and soon settles into a routine. Experts have speculated that this heightened sense of awareness and tact has something to do with the sustenance that CO derives from its new surroundings. This sustenance is called
Dynamic and Omnipotent Leveraged Longtime Accepted Renumeration (DOLLAR).

The main species is subdivided into two major groups viz Americanus Bachillius and Americanus Copulus. These sub species are easily identified by observing their food habits. Copulus is more or less an organised forager and follows a good dietary regime. Bachillius on the other hand is by and large a scavenger and opportunistic hunter. Bachillius has evolved a unique survival strategy of moving together in groups and ambushing unsuspecting Copuli (Plural of Copulus) into sharing their food. A few Bachillius have also been known to exhibit traits of advanced Copuli and occasionally be self reliant.

A remarkable feature of this species is the ability to seemingly go into a trance like mode without actually sleeping. This feature usually evolves over time due to demands made on the creature by predatory organisms within its habitat. There have been unverified reports by scientists of Coordinatorous that have been slapped awake at odd hours of the night and have then proceeded to seamlessly communicate with Offshorous. Since communication plays a very important role in the life cycle of Coordinatorous many of them have evolved unique methods involving techniques as varied as hand signals to telepathy. Recent experiments suggest that some are able to for see disaster even before it happens. This foresight is based on the same principle that a monkey when shot twice and placed on a hot stove while being simultaneously beaten by steel rods will forever be able to recognise a gun, a stove and a rod anytime in the future.

Another striking feature of this creature is its ability to stick to a routine. It has been known to come out of its burrow in extreme weather, poor health and hazardous conditions in general. This behaviour has been attributed to either the DOLLAR theory (Para 2) but more popularly to the Monkey theorem described above. A common ailment that afflicts this species is called Loanus Immobilus. It affects a few members of the species but the effects are severe ranging from paranoid delusions, agoraphobia to claustrophobia. The rare Copulus sub species where more than one member has the H1 B mutation are relatively less affected by Loanus Immobilus. The Bachillus sub species rarely gets this disease but for the ones that do, the recovery period is usually quicker.

Some conspiracy theorists do point out that this H1 B mutation, followed by the total lack of any social stimulus, mental trauma and strenuous lifestyle points to undercover military torture techniques being employed but such theorists have not been able to substantiate their claims so far. This mutation moreover is only temporary and most Coordinatorous do eventually revert to the Offshorous species. The transformation is not loss less however, physical changes like loss of hair, premature greying and increased subcutaneous fat have often been observed.

All in all, Coordinatorous Americanus is an exotic species but sadly with new regulations coming in place, the survival of this species is being threatened. The author is planning to contact Green peace on this issue provided he is able to garner enough support for the cause.